Everybody knows what they’re getting into when they’re getting into it (as best as humanly possible).
In the process of deciding if you’re a yes or a no, there’s been no force, coercion or manipulation, but rather encouragement for everyone to choose what serves them most based on open and honest information.
Consent can include enthusiasm!
Consent can include wild excitement and turn on!
Consent can include really wanting someone to be a yes to whatever you have to offer…
But ultimately, with consent, desire doesn’t eclipse everyone’s power to make a sovereign choice.
Hey, I’ve got this program I’d love to offer you. It costs four grand. It lasts four months. It includes 9 sessions and access to the online portion of my group program. At the end, you can have additional sessions with me at $300 a pop. I don’t think you need my program in order to be healthy or happy or hot. But if you’re stuck under a trauma spell, there’s a good chance it could significantly help you like it’s helped dozens of others… if you resonate with me and my style. I’d love to talk to you first (free of change) to make sure we’re on the same page about things, and then seal the deal if we’re a fit (no pressure for us to be a fit.)
Hey, I’ve got this program I’d love to offer you. It’s THE ONLY ONE like it, and without it, you’ll probably be miserable forever. If you come into my secret space I’ll tell you how much it costs after I’ve taken your email address or time filling out a long questionnaire. Also, it’s totally for everyone–there’s no one I can’t heal! When you try to tell me you’re complete, I’ll re-enroll you with a sales script rooted in making you fear what you’d do without me. (They won’t tell you that last part, but this fuckery is literally being taught in business masterminds across the coaching industry.)
Blech. Can you feel the hooky energy here? The grabby insecurity? The shadowy shame provoker? No thanks.
Let’s check out casual sex…
Hey, I’ve got this penis/vagina/heart/soul/mind I’d love to offer you…tonight. I’m a dom and I really love power play. Also, I have herpes 2, but I don’t have an outbreak right now (and haven’t for months), plus I use condoms. I’m really enjoying your company, but I’m not looking for a serious relationship. Would you be interested in making a memory this evening and leaving it at that? I’m happy to check in with you tomorrow to see how you’re doing (and whisper sweet compliments your way)…
IMAGINE IF CASUAL SEX WENT DOWN LIKE THIS. #CONSENTMAGIC
No conversation. Lots of flirtation and substances. Zero mention of STDs or safe sex practices. No talk about relational expectations or style… or maybe even hints towards seriousness when true intentions are casual.
Sex and sales are both contracts.
Exchanges of energy, time, expectations… rooted in desire.
When we muck ’em up with withholding, trickery or dishonest seduction, we… fuck it up. For everyone. There’s no ease, no flow, no trust. (And probably far fewer orgasms, healing, success.)
But when we keep our sex and sales clear like crystals, we make ’em sacred, no matter how expensive, ravenous, raunchy, or simple they are.
When you know you’re worth the love, the money, the sweet honey pot of a SCORE! there’s no need to scheme it into being.
Offer with love. Offer Love.
Make space for No’s.
Say yes only when you really frickin’ want it.
And buyer beware of the contracts that don’t sit well in your belly. The body knows like no other.
To love & transparency in all contracts forever more,