“I can’t feel anything down there,” she whispered to me in between tables at a crowded café. “Like, I’m worried that I might actually be dead down there.”
“You’re not dead,” I whispered back. “Just maybe asleep?… And with good reason?”
“Yeah, that’s possible. But what do I do? I keep going to these crazy sex workshops and then totally freaking out when I get there, then leaving. The only way I can feel myself AT ALL is when I get drunk or high.”
Her voice raised to a whisper scream, “HOW DO I FIX THIS?”
“You’re gonna be okay,” I reassure her. “I was the same way for years and years.”
And then I took out my notebook and wrote down 10 small things she could start to do, little by little, to reconnect with her life force down there… some direct, some indirect – just to keep it accessible.
“You should really make a class about that.”
“Eh… How about an Instagram ‘challenge’? Except I wouldn’t wanna call it a challenge, ’cause Goddess knows that’s not pleasurable.”
And so here we have it.
Not a class. Not a challenge. Just a small experiment in waking up.
Starting tomorrow, every day for the next 7 days I’ll be posting to Instagram a gentle pleasure invitation and tagging it #mypleasurepractice.
The experiment is simple… I’ll offer up an invitation, and you get to play with it, see how it feels to your senses, snap a photo if you feel like it & reflect a bit on the whole process, tagging #mypleasurepractice so we can find each other, inspire each other, and cheer each other on.
If any of my invites DON’T feel safe, please know that’s nothing to be ashamed of. When we’ve had histories of sexual difficulty, violation or pain, we can start to fear our aliveness in subconscious but really real ways.
I’ll offer micro-practices inside the invitations – ways you might be able to access the invite without blowing out your fuse.
And with all of this, just remember – the whole point is you get to choose! Do more, do less, skip it, revel in it. You. Choose. What. Feels. Good. (Rebellion welcome.)
Cuz’ conscious empowered choice is the most pleasurable thing of all. I promise, promise, promise.
See you there?
PS– Got a friend who might love a little extra pleasure in their life? Forward this their way.
PPS– Here’s a sneak peak of how things’ll be framed up::
Day 1 – Sleep naked. For the longest time I NEVER slept naked. I don’t even know why! Fear? Embarrassment? Body-loathing? Cultural conditioning? Now I sleep naked nightly with my windows open and I love love love the feeling of sheets on my soft skin, wrapping me like a lover.
When we sleep naked, our entire epidermis is more sensuously engaged, and what you do to one part of yourself, you do to every part of yourself. I’ll often wake up aroused in the middle of the night or have much more erotic dreams, just from sleeping naked!
What’s it like to really let yourself roll around in the senses of skin on sheets? Who do you get to be, naked in bed, that you don’t get to be when you’re clothed? What’s your fave setting at night? – Windows open and lots of blankets, no blankets and the heater on high, just a thin sheet and room temp?
Have you ever experimented with sleeping naked? How about in a soft silk slip? What do you love to sleep in? What makes your skin grin?
Snap a pic of yourself under the sheets and share with us how your sleep rituals are part of your pleasure practice. Then tag #mypleasurepractice so we can cheer each other on. Or do it in private and don’t tell a soul. Your call.
Things that might make this invite more accessible: Perhaps you’d like to lock your bedroom door, turn the heat up, simply sleep in a soft t-shirt with no underwear, or change your sheets to feel extra loved, but keep your clothes on. Make a doable, feel-good choice. That’s what it’s all about. <3