4 counter-cultural breakthroughs around perfectionism & pleasure.

1. Perfectionism is not pleasure. Expecting to only ever feel ecstatic is a direct block to ecstasy.
 
2. Sometimes, it’s safer, easier and smarter to simply GIVE TO OTHERS what we don’t feel worthy of receiving ourselves. Why? Mirror neurons. When we light up someone else with joy, we literally see and feel in their eyes/face/energy field the exact embodiment that we’re longing for in ourselves. This is the magic of complimenting, offering specific gratitudes and championing others – what we do to others, we do to ourselves. Literally. And when we’re feeling totally unworthy of kindness or care, it’s often 100 times easier to give it externally then force it internally.
 
3. Most women go through an often painful shedding process about 1/5th of the month. This is nature’s way of structurally building in space to feel things like grief, rage, pain and loss. And yet, how many of us create structural ritual – on purpose times and places – for flailing in the depths of our despair?… Not in some disempowered, victimized, woe-is-me kinda way, but with the intrinsic embodied wisdom that says, there are ALWAYS things worth being angry and sad about. Anger and sadness are not the enemy. But when we block their expression from moving through us, they build up IN us, and turn us brittle, resentful and frozen. Making space to FEEL what’s REAL is a healthy, sustainable CLEARING, opening us to more capacity for authentic pleasure, protective instincts, and pro-active healthy choices.
 
4. I am so incredibly grateful for the initiation that’s happening inside me right now. (Even though like, 2 hours a day feel totally terrifying until I remember the above things.) I have really big plans on the horizon for my work, and it’s bringing up All. My. Shit. In this place of feeling it all, I’m finding deeply compassionate solutions rooted in a lot of what I’ve written above. We literally NEED to support each other in order to liberate our culture from the trap of isolation and I-can-muscle-my-way-all-alone. We need permission and places to feel ‘ugly’ feelings. We need gentleness. Without these things, the aliveness and health we truly long for becomes an arduous chore, a desperate plea, an impossibility.

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