We were on the way to the airport, after a week of Really Going For It.
We’d both laid a lot on the line for that week together. Took risks. Made leaps. Compromised other things.
There was magic between us — that kinda soul-contract, written-in-the-stars, you-push-all-my-buttons-but-the
But also, a few distances that were just too large to breach.
So we’re in the car, and I’m driving. Tears in eyes. Pit in belly.
“I don’t want to do this with you,” I say. “At all. I need us to make a clean break.”
He paused, a little taken aback. I sat silent, surprised at my boldness and boundary.
Then he delivered the best break up concession speech I’d ever heard. (So good, that it felt like time elongated as he talked, and as soon as I dropped him off, I pulled into the cell phone lot, wept, then wrote down every word I could remember.)
“I think that’s why I came,” he said. “So that you could say no to me, and I could be OK with it.”
That response alone would’ve been enough to win the prize for “the best thing anyone told me in 2016”, but he went on:
“…So that you could feel yourself in the freedom of your no, and I could feel myself in the maturity and love of my acceptance.
You deserve to be able to say no, without anyone trying to convince you otherwise.
You have such a bright light. You radiate. It’s so beautiful and natural and such a gift to be around.
But just because your light is bright doesn’t mean I get to take it, doesn’t mean I have the right to covet your light.
It’s yours, and you get to choose who to give it to.
YOU ARE FREE.
And I super appreciate you having a true boundary.
You deserve to listen to your body and honor it.
And we both deserve whatever happens on the other side of the Truth.”
And that, my friends, was… is, the definition of Honor. The footprint of a conscious man. The way it sounds to be vulnerable for love, and then let love go with just as much.
Months later, this man and I became the very best of friends, but that’s beside the point.
Or is it?
When another person honors your freedom to choose, chooses to love you even when you disappoint them, and takes responsibility for their feelings as their own… ya kinda wanna love them back. All the way. Every day.
Because… honor. The stuff of love stories. No matter who gets what in the end.