The sexual health that grows from genuine safety.
It was 2014. I was living in Portland, Oregon.
I was experiencing chronic vulva pain. I was choosing addicts for lovers. I was teetering between wild sensual expression (so hungry to feel safe in my sexuality) and shy sensitive frozen fear (so terrified my sexual expression wasn’t safe)…
…when I made a commitment to myself:
I’m going to ecstatic dance twice a week. And there, in that classroom of consent, I’m putting myself first.
When my body feels open, I will let myself open.
When my body feels closed, I will let myself close.
When the music moves me, I will move with it.
When the music bores me, I will rest and witness those who are still moved.
When I’m attracted to another dancer, I will shimmy close, see if they’re interested in me, too.
When I’m repelled by someone wanting to dance with me, I will clearly and compassionately let them know that I’m a no with my body.
This commitment to myself – the commitment to put myself first, to stay in consent with my very own truth – changed my life.
My dance became comfortable, confident, authentic, healing. My relationship to my body became one of great trust and reverence.
I will not betray myself, I grew to know in my bones. I will be honest and loving with myself as I relate to others. Others desire for me. Others repulsion towards me. Others expectations of and demands on me. I will be honest and loving, and I will honor my truth.
With this attitude of reverence for my embodied truth, my authentic pleasure, I met dance partners who became the best of friends and lovers.
Our sincere, joyful, embodied resonance – built on chemistry and respect – was the unspoken foundation for healthy, juicy, incredible love.
Looking back now, what I was really doing was letting pleasure guide my choices.
Choosing the people with which I could experience easy playful delight became my healing path.
Choosing those with which I could seduce and be seduced, stress free, sensuously… and saying a simple no to anything else… reprogrammed me.
Pleasure first. Me first. Ease first. Honesty first.
It was radical, revolutionary and the biggest relief to the part of me that had people-pleased my way into way too many men’s beds.
Have you ever had the chance to practice putting your pleasure first? Your feelings of ease, sensuality, honor, honesty?
Have you ever had a safe space to actually bloom, with no pressure or force, into your truest erotic self? The natural essence of your sexuality that grows out of genuine safety?
Has your most healthy sexual self been discovered, danced with, celebrated?
Have you ever given her permission to play and revel in all that turns her ON?
Have you ever done this in a shame-free environment with sisters who wanna see you THRIVE?
July 11-14, come to my lil brown house by the sea in San Diego.
Let’s ReBloom Your Sexuality!
The workshop is currently one third full, and I anticipate it filling completely within the next 10 days.
If you want to chat a few things over before you commit, feel free to book a short Feeler Call with me right here.
Can’t wait to be together if it calls to you.
Here’s to putting pleasure first… a path of ultimate healing.