Fires of Awakening. When things get worse before they get better.

I remember the first time someone told me that what happened to me wasn’t okay.

I cried hot tears of acknowledgment. A small sliver of cool dissociation melted in my soul. I began to feel my heart again.

I’ve been telling the earth lately that it’s not okay what’s happening. I’ve been whispering to the bees. I’ve been singing to the ocean. I’ve been calling out to the far away trees. “I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry for what’s happening! It’s not okay.”

Always, this young-wild-ancient mystery calls back to me. Not with words, but with louder roars.

Earthquakes of energy. Tornados of truth. Fires of awakening. Hurricanes of grief and glory.

All that heat that got trapped in the shock of disregard, calling back to me. All that growling authenticity, un-dammed by diminishment or denial. All that power unhinging inside the safety of sincere acknowledgement.

It’s true that the earth is our Mother, but maybe we’re supposed to mother her back.

Maybe she’s crying because she’s finally being heard.

Maybe only some of us have ears to hear – but maybe it’s enough of us.

Enough to birth bliss babies. To shepherd howling wolves. To sense the steady moonlight and collaborate with its moods. To feel the cosmic insights and take them all the way to heart. To be the Sacred Gardeners, growing regenerative solutions to the messes we’ve somehow made.

I remember the first time someone told me that what happened to me wasn’t okay.

My life-force re-energized.

The thawing out of all that shame didn’t grow immediate health. It amplified with immediate volume just how bad things had been.

Everything got a lot worse before it got truly better.

More sexual violence. More pain. More denial. More frantic attempts to figure shit out. Cancer. Surgery. Pot. Insomnia. Isolation.

Until finally… surrender. Surrender and deep devotion.

Showing up. Asking God to put me to work. Growing up. Giving everything to my Life.

Environmentally, things are getting worse now, before they get any better.

Politically, too.

But soon enough, we will each individually and collectively, reach our fire of awakening.

The bottom will fall out and we’ll look ourselves square in the mirror and see the truth of both our mortality and our infinity.

We will know that even though we’re eternal, we are alive right now, and this life matters.

We will forgive and fall in love at the death bed of our Old World.

We will realize all the preciousness we took for granted.

We will wonder if it’s really too late.

We will decide: now’s the time. I’m showing up. Whether we make it or not. I’m growing up.

We will ask God to put us to work. We will give everything to our shared Life.

I believe in that.

I believe in us.

I know we can.

I know we will.

I know so many of us already are.

How about you? What do you believe in? Where are you in your own process of showing up and growing up?

Hit reply. Tell me everything on your heart.

With big love and wild trust.



PS – This Thursday 26 students and a 7-person Hive (my team) are gathering together for four days of showing up and growing up via the ReBloom Coach Training. As trauma resolves, capacity grows. Capacity for resiliency, self-trust, trust in others, creativity and care. Skills our human family could certainly benefit from enhancing during these tenuous times.

I can’t wait to share with you how you might be able to work with a ReBloom Coach in the future, but for now, perhaps send us a blessing of wholehearted support. It’s a big threshold to cross, a big devotion to make – to say yes to this role of trauma resolution guide. And for me personally…! Holy moly. Definitely upping my “mother” game. Feeling so honored, grateful and awed. Will share more on the other side. <3

PPS – This means if you hit reply (which I hope you do) I def won’t reply for a lil while. I’m generally slow on email anyway ;), but know I’m reading your words with gratitude and love. xo

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