Do I even have trauma? What happened to me wasn’t that bad.

If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me a story of …

-being groped
-being raped
-being surgically cut into
-being harassed
-being emotionally manipulated
-being deeply neglected
-being shamed for her sexuality, sensuality, sensitivity, emotions, power
-being told she was going to hell
-being hyper-controlled
-being highly sensitive as a kid with zero consent about her activities or environment
-having been in a long-term relationship where she had ongoing non-consensual sex
-having had an ongoing relationship to food that was abusive
-having had an ongoing relationship to drugs that was abusive
-having lived through some form of an emotionally abusive relationship for, oh… a decade…

And then followed up with the sentence, “but I never thought that this could mean I have trauma.”


My definition of “trauma” is an embodied violation hangover.

“Violation” in this equation can be ANYTHING that felt like it was beyond your capacity to cope.

It doesn’t have to mean the other person’s evil.

It just means, something that happened triggered an emergency response in your nervous system (that’s the embodied part) that never got to complete itself… (that’s the hang over part).

So you walk around in a looping, unconscious state of hyper-socialization (over-pleasing, controlling your environment for safety), fight (attacking perceived threats), flight (running like hell from perceived threats), or freeze (dissociating, leaving your body, in the face of perceived threats).

If your emergency threat response is active for long enough, your whole system can go into a state of COLLAPSE because that much adrenaline and cortisol coursing through you all the time eventually takes its tole. This is when traumarama leads to what looks like depression, even though your mental health is more-or-less sound. (Which leads to a lot of confusion… “Wait, I’m not a depressed person. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m so ashamed that I’m so immobile.” Your doc says you’ve got adrenal fatigue. Your gut tells you there’s an actual reason.)

All this to say, if you’re struggling to move through the world with the kind of embodied confidence and authentic self-expression you know is somewhere inside you, yes… you could be living under a secret trauma spell that’s seriously putting a damper on things.

WATCH HERE for the full scoop.


PS–Sending you So Much Love wherever you are on your journey. This shit is tender. I honor you.
PPS–This is Video 1 in an 8-part free video series on Becoming a Grown Goddess. Please pass the series along to anyone you know who you think it would benefit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *