I once dated a woman who had the philosophy that how she ended her previous relationship would be how her next began. (Ironically, we had a shitty break up.)
Often, my clients will come to me with wild desire for newer truer love, but old hurt’s still blocking the start of something revelatory.
So, how do we create the kind of closure that opens us up to new love, healthy love, more aligned love?
Here are a few posts I’ve written over the years on the subject:
1. Creating Closure: Letters from past lovers written by… you. (For when the lines of communication are down, but you reallllly need to hear them say That Really True Thing.)
2. When it’s time to move on: four powerful questions for honoring all that’s been. (When you don’t wanna throw the baby out with the bathwater, when you want to acknowledge the beauty of what was.)
3. When they leave, it doesn’t mean you lose. Contemplations on break ups, winnings and losings in love. (For when you’re feeling shitty about being broken up with, or when you need to honor your Truth above all.)
4. Someone wanted me to tell you to still believe in love. (For when you’re feeling hopeless, like no one will ever come for you.)
5. A tough-love letter template for the changing tides. (For when you’ve processed enough and you need a little kick in the butt to turn the page.)
6. What if the gift is the ending? We can re-imagine our lives? (For when you want to cry buckets over a beautiful story and film chronicling a real life divorce (mine).)
7. Leaving, Leaving, Everyone’s Leaving. (For when you want to sink into the Long View.)
Mostly, I know how hard it can be to let ourselves feel the reality of our grief at times. Harder still, to let ourselves hope again for something new.
If you’re in that spot, I’m sending an extra blessing your way tonight. And this small excerpt from ReBloom:
Sometimes in love or sex, we get stuck thinking that what we have now is all we’ll ever get. But your story isn’t over yet. You get to have new experiences. You get to meet new people. Receive new gifts.
Life keeps moving and pulling new people in. It isn’t over ‘til it’s over. It only ends here if you don’t keep walking.
You don’t have to settle. You’re allowed to want more. And it’s all coming – just like those people you never thought would; the ones who changed your life for good.
Big big big love.
PS–I’ve got a few spots open for 1-1 work this spring. Humans who feel ready to turn the page on love in a deeply embodied and trauma-informed way… you and I might just be meant for each other. After these spots fill, I won’t be re-opening my calendar until November. Feel free to read about working together 1-1 right here and apply if your heart says now’s the time. <3