Okay, folks. Traumarama is no small deal. Triggers arise, and suddenly, we’re lashing out at a perfectly loving human as if they’re a sacred contrarian. Or going into a deep freeze of inability to speak. Or over-giving to try to keep the peace. Or eating the whole pantry to numb the lonely.
We have deeply embedded subconscious patterns, usually established in childhood, that generally run the show.
These patterns, while often painful, are so entrained in us BECAUSE they’re designed to save our lives… and at the point of establishment, they very well may have been doing just that.
So we become deeply habituated to rely on and utilize our fight, our flight, our freeze, our hypersocialization… even if the danger is no longer life or death, even if we don’t need ’em. And suddenly, our life-saving mechanisms can become life-sucking patterns.
What do we do when our emergency responses… are creating emergencies?
In the land of trauma resolution, there are lots of options… but may I humbly suggest that the first step be a gentle kindness towards the feral animal of our embodiment?
What we shame grows with fury in the dark.
What we hold with compassion loosens in the light.
Just right here, just right now, can you identify a pattern that you turn to when extra tender or scared?
Taking a toke from the bowl? (Flight)
Calling the other person an asshole? (Fight)
Ordering carry out and Netflixing the night away? (Freeze)
Over-texting check-ins, making sure everything’s cool between you and so-and-so? (Hypersocializing)
Compassion asks, what fear is this defending against?
Compassion asks, what’s truer than true underneath this response?
Compassion asks, how can I help you choose something small and doable that feels better and more enlivening?
Bringing compassionate witness consciousness on board can do more than we think for helping to shift our automated responses from a place of unresolved fear to one of empowered love and embodied trust.
Today, I’m sending you some extra courage to do just that.
With zero shame in your body’s brilliant response system and however it’s currently showing up.
With deep compassion for the raw reality of embodied reactivity.
And with wild encouragement to see it all with love, and choose small doable steps towards your greatest health. Whenever you can. In whatever tiny or grand ways feel possible today.
PS: Gotta friend who needs this message? Forward the love.
PPS: I have space for one one-on-one trauma transformation immersion client right now… 4 months of deeply intensive care and support. An in-person retreat at my lil brown house by the sea. Access into the next Grown Goddess Academy. The works. Send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you’d like to talk. I’m obsessed with consensual sales and right-fit client/practitioner relationships. So no pressure on this end and lots of love to help you get the best support possible. <3